The Mantra That’s Draining Women—and What We Can Do About It

“You got time to lean, you got time to clean.”

It’s a phrase I used to hear my husband say in jest, often borrowed from his military background to encourage coworkers to stay productive. Sometimes it even carried over into our home, until I gently reminded him—our babies weren’t his troops.

I used to think this was just another Army-ism, something passed down through the ranks like a badge of grit. But Google credits this one to Ray Kroc, the fast-food tycoon behind McDonald’s. That made me cringe even more.

But why does this phrase really bother me?

Lean in, sister… because what I’m about to share might hit closer to home than you expect.

Why This Mentality Is Harming Women—Deeply and Systemically

We’re seeing record numbers of women experiencing adrenal fatigue, nervous exhaustion, dysregulated nervous systems, and chronic fatigue. And no, it’s not just because we need more sleep or a spa day.

This kind of exhaustion isn’t just physical. It’s emotional. It’s spiritual. It’s generational. And it’s societal.

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As a “why” person, I need to know the root of things before I can address the surface. So here’s what I’ve found:

The Layers Behind the Exhaustion

1. The Curse of Overgiving

Women are beautifully designed to nurture. But when we slide into overgiving, it becomes a dangerous imbalance. Constant output with no replenishment? That’s a recipe for depletion.

Overgiving → Overactivation of the stress response → Adrenal fatigue.

2. Living in Survival Mode

Many women are unknowingly operating in chronic fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses—our body’s trauma programming gone unchecked. Whether the trauma is current, past, or generational, the message is the same: Keep producing. Don’t stop. Rest is lazy.

And in some circles, rest isn’t just discouraged—it’s shamed.

3. Disembodiment = Disconnection

Too many of us are living disconnected from our bodies. We push through exhaustion. We numb. We ignore symptoms. We binge Netflix instead of tuning in.

This isn’t just burnout. This is a spiritual issue. Ignoring our physical vessel—the very body God entrusted us with—is Gnostic in nature. We were never meant to neglect the physical for the sake of the spiritual.

4. Ignoring Our Rhythms

Our culture worships linear productivity. But women are cyclical beings. We weren’t made to grind through the same output every day of the month. Pregnancy, menstruation, perimenopause—these aren’t interruptions. They’re sacred rhythms.

But when we ignore them and hustle through? Hormonal imbalance. Burnout. Emotional overload.

5. Generational Trauma and Inherited Hustle

Many of us grew up with silent (or not-so-silent) messages like:

• “Don’t be lazy.”

• “You’re only valuable if you’re useful.”

• “Don’t ask for help.”

This programming wires our nervous systems to perform, not receive.

But true strength? It’s found in asking for help. In creating space. In letting God fill the gaps.

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So What Do We Do?

We REST. But not just the “go to bed early” kind of rest.

We begin incorporating:

• Emotional rest – space for feelings, grief, and healing.

• Sensory rest – turning off the noise and stimulation.

• Creative rest – allowing inspiration without demand.

• Spiritual rest – soaking in truth without striving.

True rest is receiving without earning.

And most of us have never been taught how.

Your Invitation to Pause and Heal

If you’ve made it this far—bless you. This is the beginning of a much deeper conversation I’ll be continuing over the next few days, especially if you're finding yourself burned out, fatigued, or simply numb.

But for now, let me ask you gently:

Did any part of this resonate with you?

If so, I’d be honored to pray for you. Leave a comment below and let me know one area where you need rest, healing, or a fresh start.

You were never meant to carry this much without support. Let’s invite God into the very space the world told us to keep performing in.

💛 With grace and restoration, Jen