The Power of Subconscious Goal Setting: Why Forgetting Can Lead to Success

The most controversial post I wrote in 2024 was when I simply asked about the cold plunge. Folks who never give my posts a nod commented indignantly about its dangers. The whole thing reminded me of when Mark and I declared we were going vegan. People straight up warned us against the peril of plants. Now, plant-based eating is trending. Humans are an odd bunch.

Goal Setting is Good, Just Keep it Real

For a number of years, like decades, I have, in the back of my mind pondered the fun of a polar bear plunge on New Year's. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but something about defying what the body thinks it can do with what it can actually do is oddly appealing.

It was a ‘goal’ of mine someday, not to go to a specific place, but simply to plunge into frigid waters on New Year's Day. As I was showering off from my disgustingly sweaty run, getting ready to take my cold plunge, (couldn't tell you how many I've done, I don't keep track of that stuff, obvs) it occurred to me- I accomplished that goal of a polar plunge long ago and wasn’t aware of hitting that ‘goal’. 💃

In my experience, goal setting, while important, ought not to be set to a specific time. I know, I know, all the goal gurus just clutched their pearls and fainted. And this from an avid goal-setter.

See, when a person sets a goal, the subconscious mind sets to work on figuring out how to accomplish this lofty thing, piecing together possibilities and pitfalls. This part of the brain will think of cool habits to take on, without you realizing you’re making this a new habit. In the case of fitness, you might suddenly just not crave sugar, desire more protein, and greens, or set your clock earlier for “no apparent reason”.

But when the conscious mind gets involved by setting a must-complete-by date, the pressure kicks in and the subconscious mind, the creative brain, just freezes. Conscious mind, arrogant as it can be, says, “Don’t worry sweety, I’ve got this”, and proceeds to cause a hostile takeover and makes all the plans and forces all the work to accomplish the dream.

You wanna know when I met my husband? When I stopped being concerned about getting married, when I scheduled a mission trip to Papau New Guinea, with the intention of never coming back. You wanna know how I was able to grow a profitable hair business even after moving TWICE and not knowing a soul in my new town? It happened while I was busy raising my kids, tending to their needs and being a rockstar mom—not a boss babe, not advertising my services.

Years ago, I created a vision board and forgot all about the pics I put on it. It wasn’t until I was walking my bulldog on the beach near my new beach house that I realized those things were on my vision board from an absurdly long time ago. And there I was, living it.

You see, dear goal-setter, everyone knows when you chase anything, the energy is too aggressive. It’s not soft and inviting but rather repelling causing the goal-setter to work harder for the elusive goal. Don’t misunderstand, you will certainly achieve your dreams and goals should you work really hard for them. But you will also accomplish them, and with extreme ease, if you let go of the outcome, the timing, and frankly, the mad desire. Make space for your subconscious mind to do the thinking with absolute assurance that one day, that dream and goal will be realized.

So today as I slipped effortlessly into the cold plunge, the thing I have been doing for over 5 months now and reaping a million benefits from, I laughed and did a little jig in the pool. When I forgot about the dream, the goal, the task, it just happened. And so did about a dozen other things in my life.