When Grief Rearranges the Furniture of Your Soul

Grief is an odd bird. I've tried to wrap my head around it for years and truly gotten nowhere with it. I wanted to define it, control it, and of course, master it.

But here’s what I discovered: maybe it’ll help you.

When grief hits—or even trauma comes in—it’s like someone temporarily rearranged the furniture in your soul. Nothing is where it once was. And if you’re like me, you may spend countless hours trying to rearrange the furniture back to where it was.

But the truth is, it can’t ever go back to that original spot.

My mom’s house was wrecked not once but twice—first by a fire, then by an earthquake. Even though the rooms were rebuilt to how they used to be, they were never truly the same. The furniture, wallpaper (it was the 80s, give her a break), and carpet were all new—reflecting her taste after the destruction, not before.

That’s what grief is like. It’s not about recreating the “before.” It’s about learning to live in the “after.”

You’ll never be exactly who you were before loss—and that’s okay. Stop trying to force yourself back into that old space. Instead, embrace what God is building in the new. Because even in destruction, He can create something beautiful and magical in you.

Trust.