Why So Many Women Have Tight Hips and Gut Issues: The Hidden Cost of Functional Freeze and Over-Responsibility

Over the years of working with women and, of course, being a woman for now 52 years, I've noticed something. Allow me to begin by saying loud enough for you all to hear, "This is not a male-bashing post!"

This is a, "Hey, I've noticed something that can't be ignored any longer" post.

Got it?

Good.

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Now, let's begin.

Spend enough time working with women, and you’ll see patterns and trends. There's, of course, the hairstyles they all love and want, the "right" way to eat, the much-needed Stanley cups (or whatever is on trend), and which supplement is the one to help all the things. All of these fade as quickly as they came, and we're off and running to a new trend and pattern.

Common Physical Issues Among Women

Trends and patterns I have yet to see die out are:

• Tight hips.

• Chronic jaw tension.

• Sore back.

• Gut issues.

• Chronic fatigue even after “enough” sleep.

• Neck and shoulder stiffness that never really goes away.

• Auto-immune issues.

  
  

Society sees this in women and blames the government for trying to off everyone through chemicals and toxins. Hmmm... maybe.

The medical community sees enough of a pattern and begins to diagnose it, and somehow, all of the above gets categorized as "normal aging issues." I call B.S. on that on account of the fact that they also categorize pregnancy and menopause as diseases. Vile.

The Church will just go make up another doctrine or a program women can take so they are more spiritual, more disciplined, and can serve better and walk in their calling, which according to them, usually is in addition to raising kids.

But if you're like me, you will ask the hard question(s).

The Burden of Stress

Why do so many women carry these physical manifestations of stress, while many men seem to move through life without the same level of chronic body tension?

Biology or burden?

Because we are all behind a computer screen, let’s gently ask a question most women have never dared to ask:

Are women carrying far more than they were ever assigned by God to carry? Well, that answer would be obvious—yes. But the harder question is, "Why?" Harder still, "How can they stop?"

Functional Freeze Isn’t Weakness. It’s Adaptation.

I've been talking about Functional Freeze as of late, and if you missed that, see my recent blogs here and here.

Women are taught that we don’t explode. We don’t run, unless it's to keep you in shape. We adjust. We hold it together. We manage the house. We manage the emotions. We manage the schedules. We manage the conversations. We manage any tension. We manage what no one else seems to want to manage.

And over time, the body says: “Alright, listen, if we can’t put this down, we’ll just store it for later.” Over time, the issues I mentioned above slowly creep in.

Not because women are fragile. Far from it. My word, we create humans while carrying other humans. Strength is not lacking, and fragility isn't the problem. Because women are faithful, loyal, and natural caretakers, we tend to take care of what’s not ours to care for.

You know how horrible it is when water goes down the wrong pipe? Lungs are meant to hold water, right? Wouldn't it be insane to demand of your lungs that they hold extra water for your stomach? I know that sounds ridiculous, but so does taking on things you weren't meant to hold.

So, Why Don’t Men Seem to Carry It the Same Way?

Men absolutely experience stress and pressure. Many carry silent burdens we never see. The rate for heart attacks on Monday mornings is staggering.

Yet, culturally and historically, women have often stepped in to hold emotional, relational, and task weight—sometimes because they were asked to and sometimes…because no one else picked it up.

When someone consistently carries something, others usually let them. If you are strong, capable, spiritually mature, and emotionally perceptive, people will naturally hand you things.

If you are a woman who learned early that stability depended on you? You will take them. If you’re a woman who learned that boundaries were unnecessary or even rude, again, you took whatever was handed to you.

And, if you are a woman who grew up in your faith and was taught that we must serve one another as Christ did, then you not only took it, you searched out ways to be more helpful, more productive, more...everything. After all, isn’t that what God wants?

No. Actually, it’s not what He wants. He wants daughters, not slaves and worker bees.

This Is Not Kingdom Reality

You see, in the Kingdom of Heaven, the weight does not rest on the woman. Ever. It rests on the King. Did you know that in the ancient world, women would get three months total of rest because of their menstrual cycles? And you were taught it was because they were unclean. Pshh!

It was our perfect Father's way of giving His girls rest.

Isaiah says: “I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you, and I will rescue you.” That is covenant language. He carries. He sustains. He upholds. If He's the one who carries you, then understand you were never designed to carry everything.

The Kingdom model is not: “Strong woman holds the world together.” The Kingdom model is: “My daughter rests under a King who governs.” That mindset shift alone will begin to thaw the functional freeze.

Kingdom Alignment

When a woman has lived in hyper-responsibility for years, the body subtly braces. Thawing does not begin with stretching harder or strength training more. It begins with asking: “What am I carrying that was never assigned to me?”

It begins with: “Where did I agree to be the one who keeps everything from falling apart?” Sweetheart, you are not the Savior. You are the beloved. You are not a slave. You are His chosen child.

This Is Not About Blame

Hear me well—this is not about blaming men. This is about examining agreements and noticing cultural patterns that must change so more women can live the life our God meant for them to live.

As a culture, we need to be asking whether the “strong, powerful badass woman” identity has quietly replaced the “carried much cherished daughter” identity.

Men and women both flourish when responsibility is aligned correctly.

Here's My Invite

If your hips are tight. If your gut is inflamed. If your jaw aches. If you are productive but numb. If you can't even anymore, this isn't about discipline or doing more. This is about alignment.

Understand that survival is not your destiny and exhaustion is not your inheritance. Rest, light yokes, and easy burdens are.

Consider joining me for my Functional Freeze 5-day thaw, a self-paced guided program designed to help you shift from carrying everyone’s gear to only the portion assigned to you by a loving Father.