The Invisible Power of Who You Sit With

Science is beginning to catch up to something you (and your nervous system) have always known.

You know the feeling. You're in a room full of people, conversation ensues with various groups and individuals.

Some people leave you feeling lighter after a conversation.

Others leave you drained, tight in the chest, foggy in the mind.

Some rooms feel peaceful before anyone even speaks.

Others feel downright chaotic the moment you walk in.

You know this isn't just your imagination. In science speak, this is coherence and incoherence interacting with your body.

Recent research (including studies from HeartMath and the Global Consciousness Project) suggests that when large groups of people enter emotionally regulated, focused states together, their collective coherence may even influence physical systems designed to behave randomly.

Pretty sure we saw this in scripture with the Tower of Babel. The power of a group of people collectively focusing on one task caused the God of the all creation to get up off His throne and disrupt our language!

So if we now have data to back up what we've known all along, and this is true on a grand scale, just imagine what it means on a personal one.

You Are Not Emotionally Isolated

We like to think our emotions are private—that what we carry stays neatly contained inside us. But energy doesn't lie, and you cannot under any circumstances squelch energy that oozes from you.

Biology says no.

Your nervous system is constantly:

• Reading facial expressions

• Interpreting tone of voice

• Tracking subtle body language

• Adjusting your heart rhythm to match others

• Synchronizing with the emotional field around you

This is called neuroception—your body’s unconscious safety radar. Before your mind ever decides whether someone is safe, your body has already answered the question.

That’s why:

• You can feel calm around someone who says very little

• You can feel anxious around someone who seems “nice”

• You can feel seen by someone who truly listens

• You can feel unsafe without knowing why

Your body isn’t overreacting. It’s responding to their internal coherence—or their chaos.

Emotional States Are Contagious

Not metaphorically. Literally.

Again, research has caught up to what we have known and experienced all along.

Emotional contagion can be seen when:

• Stress dysregulates other people’s nervous systems

• Calm regulates other people’s nervous systems

• Anxiety spreads

• Joy spreads

• Peaceful presence stabilizes others

• Dysregulation destabilizes others

That means the people you spend time with are actively shaping your biology.

Not symbolically, but physiologically! Over time, your body begins to learn their rhythm.

Coherence Multiplies in Connection

Here’s the hopeful part.

If incoherence spreads… so does coherence. Yay!

When two emotionally regulated people connect:

• Their heart rhythms begin to synchronize

• Their breathing subtly aligns

• Their nervous systems reinforce safety

• Their minds become clearer

• Their bodies soften

Now imagine that happening inside families. Inside friendships. Inside churches. Inside schools spaces. Inside workspaces.

Environments of emotional safety are so powerful because they don’t just feel good. They actually help people heal.

You don’t grow only because of the words spoken in those spaces. You grow because of the emotional field you are sitting inside.

Your Circle Matters More Than You Think

Scripture has been saying this long before science caught up.

“Bad company corrupts good character."

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

“Two are better than one…”

But this goes deeper than behavior.

It’s about:

• The nervous systems you co-regulate with

• The emotional tone you marinate in

• The beliefs you absorb through proximity

• The expectations that become normalized around you

• The level of peace your body learns is “normal”

You don’t rise to the level of your goals. You settle into the level of your environment.

You Are Shaped by What Feels Familiar

One of the hardest truths in emotional healing is this:

Your nervous system bonds with familiarity before it bonds with health. If you grew up around chaos, criticism, anxiety, or emotional unpredictability, calm can feel unfamiliar and unsettling. Peace can feel boring, and safety can feel suspicious.

When you begin to heal emotionally, more than personal insight is required. Being intentional about your community and open to making adjustments is equally important. This isn't about casting judgment; it's about stewarding your nervous system.

The Responsibility of Your Presence

There’s another layer to this.

You are not just affected by others. You are also affecting others.

Your emotional state becomes part of the atmosphere everywhere you go.

Your children feel it. Your spouse feels it. Your friends feel it. Your clients or coworkers feel it. Even strangers feel it.

When you walk into a room grounded, regulated, and emotionally present, you become a stabilizing presence.

Healing yourself is never selfish; it's a form of service.

We are biologically wired to be influenced by the emotional state of the people we connect with. And when we come together with the intention of peace, safety, and coherence, that state becomes stronger than any one individual.

Your relationships, environment, and of course, inner healing matter greatly.

The people you sit with are training your nervous system on what to believe is normal.

Be sure you choose environments that teach your body peace.