Letting Go of Control: How Prayer Became My Parenting Anchor

A Facebook memory popped up today from six years ago—one of those foretelling kinds of things.

It was a reel I created about letting go of your child’s choices. My Zion had turned 18 and had come home with some vile blue concoction from Dunkin. For those new to the party—he’s the one who had melanoma, and he’s the main reason we went nuts and got rid of toxins, sugar, etc.

Whole lotta good that did on account of my husband died of cancer—post purge.

But I digress.

Micromanaging and Motherhood

This memory made me laugh, mostly at myself, at how I used to micromanage the food they ate and gave them the hairy eyeball when they came home with an unsavory choice, like Dunks or worse—Burger King…

Imagine my horror when my oldest daughter needed shots to get her EMT cert.

Imagine my dismay when the boys needed 7 pokes, as well as extra sticks after 10 weeks of training, “just because.”

Imagine the cringing that occurred in my mind when one of my boys mentioned that while they couldn’t have caffeine during Basic (it’s dehydrating), they were loaded up with sugar so the soldiers would have energy to get through their days. 😣 Army intelligence at its finest...

Imagine how much I finally let go when all three have mentioned the food choices they needed to make simply because it was that or starve, or the toxins they clean with, or or or…

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The Crunchy Mom’s Dilemma

You see, as crunchy moms, we have the luxury of micromanaging—until we don’t. Then all those years of buying scads of healthy foods, supplements, oils, and herbs seem to fly right out the window when their life and career choices care little about all that effort you just invested for 18+ years.

Several people have asked how I feel about them (the older 3) taking shots, and other brave souls dare to ask what I was going to do about it.

Adorable line of questioning.

My response to the asker is, “Nothing.”

Because frankly, what was I supposed to do—tell them they can’t do x, y, or z because our world is loaded with garbage?

Okay, nothing was not totally truthful.

What I Really Did

Pray.

That’s what I did—hit my knees like I always do.

I wonder if people get tired of me answering them with, “I prayed”, when they ask me questions like, “well how did you?” or “What are you going to do about _____?”

It’s all I know to do.

I’m that weird one who watches a movie where people are desperate for a solution and wonders, “Why don’t they just pray about it??”

It’s in that praying that I find tangible, real-time solutions to needs I or my babes may have.

Beyond Psalm 91

With my older three, He has pushed me beyond my go-to Psalm 91 prayer of protection. While that is a stunning first line of prayer, it doesn’t always target the specifics my kids—or anyone else’s, for that matter—need.

Turns out, Psalm 91 doesn’t always help when you learn your kid is ridiculously hungry after meals because his name starts with W, and that means he’s last in the chow line. Know what does? Declaring multiplication, like Jesus did with the loaves and fish.

The “will drink poison and it won’t harm you” is delightful when you know your people are going to receive injections that you fought so hard to keep them from.

It might seem silly to some, but when my girl was going to be working in the heat of Summer, declaring He is a pillar of cloud over her by day was an oft-repeated prayer I had.

The need to move past Psalm 91 when the enemy got some hits in and one of my people broke their arm, causing delays and setbacks, was real. Mental health scriptures and declaring healing over them became the order of the day.

For Moms in the Letting-Go Season

'Tis that time of year when thousands of moms across the land are letting go, but many will still attempt micromanaging to their own stress and frustration.

As you launch or have launched them out, search the Word in faith, not fear, for specifics on how to now support your kid in the next leg of their journey.

I promise both of you will be better for it.